Purely out of curiosity, a few weeks ago I found myself reading a Guardian article by a bloke I’d never heard of, complaining about a Lily Allen song that’s just been released, which is itself a bitchy response to a Twitter argument she’d had with this bloke some time ago when he complained about one of her other songs, which may or may not be racist, because some people complained about it at the time, but they may just be trolling.

And then I wondered how I could hypothetically explain all that to my dead grandmother, and also explain why it warranted front page coverage in a national broadsheet. And it was at this point that I realised society as we know it may be going down the pan.