I am the man who arranges the blocks

Best. Sweets. Ever.

Sweetris

Reblog this. Seriously. People need to know about these things.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

A woman was queuing in a supermarket when rudely, a woman in a burkha with three screaming children pushed in front of her. Despite polite protestation, the Muslim woman refused to move. “We don’t cut queues in this country, you’ll have to go to the back of the line,” said the woman.

The Muslim woman turned and said, “I don’t care. This country is a pit of sinful heretics who don’t deserve my obedience. You’ll have plenty of time to queue in hell after being judged to Shariah Law.”

The cashier then turned and said, “Hang on, love. This stinks of a made up story to share on social media! There are no sources cited, no links to news articles, no evidence AT ALL to suggest that this has happened. I mean, come on. This supermarket doesn’t exist. Neither do you two. Nor me, come to think of it. Snopes.com would bust this story wide open in about thirty seconds, it’s that fucking tenuous. In fact, the genesis of this story could probably be found in a bulletin board post or circular email originating from an AOL email address from 1996, and it was lies then, too. Basically, it’s a lie. A lie spread to infuriate the stupid. Much like the raison d’ĂȘtre of the tabloid newspaper industry, Samantha Brick or Katie Hopkins. You’re being trolled for a reaction to get attention or money.”

The cashier took a deep breath.

“Now fuck off out of my imaginary supermarket.”

(As discovered on Facebook. I take no credit for the authorship of this, although I wish I could.)

Me Smurf you long time

Smurf

It worries me that somewhere out there in the darker bowels of the internet, there probably exists Smurf fanfiction that contains the words “Oh, Smurf me! Smurf me, baby! Smurf me!”.

It worries me even more that I’m actually thinking about this.

Look what I found

They’re sugar, Tabitha.

Sugar_Mice

Hi, I’m James and I’ll be auditioning for the role of Elmer

Same charity shop. Same day. What are the odds???

Elmer

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