Reassuringly crap

I’ve received a Stella Artois chalice by post. I didn’t order it, can think of no one who would have ordered it for me, and given that I really can’t stand the stuff I have therefore concluded that this is some sort of viral marketing campaign that’s gone a bit awry.

The weird thing is that if I place the chalice to my ear, I can hear James Blunt’s new single.


Hearse chasing

Please stay on the line. One of our mediums will be with you shortly.


The God Equation

ParabolaAs seen on Facebook.


Finish Him

“So anyway,” I asked, “how old were you before you realised that deliberately spelling things wrong for the sake of a marketing gimmick was a stupid idea?”

Gareth’s response: “I was Se7en…”


Tabitha gets into steampunk

I was reading that page.


What I found on my donut

Evicted from his home by corrupt government officials, a down-on-his-luck Zorro was forced to find work at the local bakery.


Stuff I probably should have tweeted, #14

6th April – I thought a leopard print t-shirt would be a good look for me. Emily told me last night that I looked like the only gay in the village. Guess which one of us was right.

9th April – To those of you suffering from Thatcher fatigue, I offer this word of condolence: imagine what Facebook and Twitter would have been like if we’d had them when Diana died.

11th April – I’ve decided that the best thing that the Daily Mail could do would be to annoy the Scientologists. To the extent that they take legal action. Then the Hubbard brigade could wipe out the Mail, and then hopefully bankrupt themselves in the process. And everybody’s happy.

15th April – Does anyone else wonder whether Margaret Thatcher was a Belieber?

18th April – Tabitha brought me a present this morning. At least this one was intact. The last time, it was missing a head.

19th April – You know you’re being punished for something when you wake in the morning with a Jive Bunny earworm.

19th April – Signs your marriage is rock solid: Every time you find yourself randomly singing “Am I a man, or am I a Muppet?”, your other half can be heard shouting “Muppet!” from the next room.

24th April – I waited seventeen minutes before returning to the phone after telling the British Gas salesman I’d be back in a moment. I wonder how long he hung around on the other end?

7th May – You know you’re having a good day when “a number of complaints” results in the removal of one of your Daily Mail comments.

10th May – Jeremy Vine just asked “Does a musician have a special relationship with their instrument?”. And I’m sorry, I’m thinking about American Pie.

24th May – In many ways it’s annoying that the USB slot is situated in such an awkward position on the rear of our TV. It means you have to actually move round to see where to plug in a memory stick or wire. On the other hand, it’s been a positive life experience, because I have recently become very good at facing setbacks.

31st May – “Pages you might like: Heineken”. Thanks, but I prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon.

3rd June – How could I possibly have clipped nine fingernails this morning, and then forgotten about the last one? And then not noticed for seven hours?

5th June – I am considering trying an eighties hairstyle, but remain unconvinced that it would suit me. I may have to mull it over.

7th June – Dear person who found my Doctor Who blog by Googling ‘Numberjacks fanfiction’ – Dude. Seriously?

8th June – Emily just stepped on a duck. There is a joke in that somewhere.

9th June – As a mark of respect for Iain Banks, tomorrow evening we will be eating hot dogs.

22nd June – Dear person who found my Doctor Who blog by googling ‘sonic screwdriver in my pussy’…Never mind.

28th June – Have the Wurzels ever covered ‘Just The Way You Are’? Because I think there’s a golden opportunity there.

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