All are pun-ished, part 47

I rest my case.

See you in a fortnight!

 

Jeremy Hunt and his bellend

Sorry, this is just too funny for words.

Look what I found in The Works

Do Gremlin Graphics know about this…?

Good grief, the comedian’s a bear

As seen on Facebook.

Error 404 Appetite Not Found

There might be better ways of advertising your pub.

Fit for purpose

Just about to set out to the tip recycling centre…

Emily: Have you put the gardening gloves in the car already?

Me: Yes, I have.

Emily: Whereabouts are they?

Me: Just think it through.

Emily: …Right, yeah.

Me: There you go.

Emily: I bet you were so smug when you thought of doing that, weren’t you?

Me: Oh, it’s going on Facebook later.

Summer is officially cancelled

Spotted in Sutton Courtenay:

The lost Enid Blyton novel

You see what I mean.

Kitsch mugs #7

Lot #7: The bear wearing a doily, May 2012

When everyone’s super, no one will be

When I was a kid, superhero films had simple, uncomplicated titles. There was’ Superman. (Specifically, it was Superman: The Movie, but that was presumably for the sake of thick people.) Then there was Superman II. Then Superman III. Then Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which was a bit more substantial (even though the title was probably the only thing about the film that didn’t feel totally by the numbers). But that was it. You knew where you were, because as long as you could count Roman numerals you’d never have to spend any time worrying about whether Batman Returns came before or after Batman Forever, or whether Hulk was a prequel or a sequel to The Incredible Hulk (yes, I know you can look at the release dates, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT).

Anyway, I spent last week having a look at the Marvel / DC canon over the past few years, and realised that if angst-ridden human frailties are the way to go in superhero films these days (the Spider-Man trilogy, which took the distinctly non-vogue approach of actually numbering its films sequentially, would point to that sort of thematic trend), then perhaps someone should produce mundane superhero films about mundane things – and the current infestation of ‘interesting’ titles is the perfect starting point. Consider:

The Dark Knight Rises….just after six, goes for a jog, showers and eats three bowls of Special K

Batman Begins….an evening class in photography

Avengers Assemble….a bookcase and a couple of CD towers

Superman Returns….a dented tin of chopped tomatoes to his local co-op

X-Men: First Class….on the Virgin 2:45 from London Paddington to Manchester Piccadilly

Captain America: The First Avenger….to move out from his parents’ basement

While we’re on that:

 

(More are available here.)

And, of course…

HULK SMASH PRICES IN BARGAIN BASEMENT! PUNY HUMANS COME NOW WHILE STOCKS LAST!

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