Join the dots

I’m risking bad karma by using my son’s birthday cake to make cheap political jokes. But anyway.

Pac-Kip

Treading the boards

It’s a theatrical trailer.

Trailer

Hit list

Persons for whom I harbour an irrational and long-standing hatred:

– The kid at Disneyland Paris who managed to get on the shuttle bus during the queuing scrum and then waved at all the stranded passengers as it left, grinning smugly

– The bloke with the Sky dish who muttered “Charity begins at ‘ome” before slamming the door in my face that Christian Aid week thirteen years ago

– The kid who took all the credit I’d put into the Ninja Turtles arcade machine in Rivermead Leisure Centre, in the spring of 1991

– The obvious troll (and possible Berkeley student) who said unpleasant things on one of my blogs

– The kid who takes an eternity in the swimming pool shower after lessons every week, pressing the button again and again EVEN THOUGH HE CAN SEE OTHER PEOPLE ARE WAITING

– The couple in the Land rover who insisted on taking the Nolton Haven car park space that we were trying to reserve for the camper van because it was wider, even though there was no need for them to park in it, and whose tyres I very nearly let down

– Katie Price

Feel free to share your first world problems in the comments box. It really is quite cathartic.

What to do with those UKIP leaflets

The local magazine contained a UKIP campaign leaflet. Included was a free pull-out poster – no, not Nigel Farage with a puppy, but one of those window display things that you can stick up so that everyone knows where your political allegiance lies.

Before

 

I have altered it. I think I like my version better.

After

%d bloggers like this: